This was our fourth child and second home water birth. We have three boys already and since this pregnancy felt like all of the previous ones, I fully assumed we would be welcoming another baby boy. We’ve always chosen to be surprised at delivery to find out if baby was a boy or girl. I had purposed to have natural deliveries and then had also really appreciated the water birth experience the last time and was excited to have another one. I spent the couple weeks before my delivery watching videos of positive water births, natural pain coping techniques, positive birth affirmations, and best positions for the stages of labor. I wanted to not have to think about it in the moment but just be able to do it. I also made sure my husband knew some of the things I wanted so he could help me remember.
I’d been having contractions for several weeks before my due date, but I wasn’t too excited since I typically have some signs “down south” that indicate labor will begin in the next 24-48 hours. When I noticed some brown discharge Saturday, I let Alex know and assumed labor would soon begin.
Sunday morning I was awoken by a labor pain at 6:30 in the morning. I noted that it was strong enough to wake me up, and then went back to sleep. At 7:00am, another pain woke me up. Again, I noted it and went back to sleep. Another one woke me up at 7:30am. I needed to be up and getting ready so I stayed up. At this point, because they were at regular intervals and strong enough to wake me, I wondered if this was the beginning. I took a bath to shave as well as a shower to wash my hair, just in case. We got ready and went to church. Contractions continued at regular intervals while there so I let Alex know. I jokingly told people “this could be it!” and that I hoped to have a baby “tonight or early tomorrow morning.” It was fun and an easy way to distract myself, and everyone was so excited for us.
We got home around 12pm, and the contractions were now about 10 minutes apart. We ate lunch and I tried to distract myself. I worked through some of the things on my “When Labor Starts” list. Since I did believe it was early labor, I let my sister-in-law Olivia know, as she was coming to photograph the birth. Around 2:30pm, I gave Alex another update that contractions were 7-10 minutes apart and very slowly increasing in intensity, and I also completed the Miles Circuit.
I rested after but couldn’t sleep through the contractions and had to breathe through them. They would be anywhere from 5-10minutes apart, but it didn’t feel like much progress was being made. By 5:30pm, things hadn’t changed much. I found myself struggling to work through the contractions as I was pretty distracted by my three boys (they’re great, just being children). I asked my husband if we could have his mom pick them up, so she came by and grabbed them at 7pm. My sister-in-law asked to come over and arrived around 7:45pm and helped my husband finish preparing the house.
I had been working my way through increasingly intense contractions with counter pressure to my back and sensory work with oils. Around 10pm, my sister-in-law suggested I try some asymmetrical movement on the step stool. Wow! There was an immediate change in intensity and I remember thinking later that I had moved firmly into active labor at that point. Prior to this, I hadn’t wanted to call Alex, but after that shift, I looked at my husband and said, “It’s time to get Alex here.” The change was so much so that I actually avoided doing any more asymmetrical movement until Alex and her team arrived, because I wanted to make sure they got there in time. There was also a humorous moment where during a contraction my husband encouraged me telling me I was doing a good job. I turned to him and said, “Don’t tell me I’m doing a good job - remind me to relax my jaw and to make low sounds.” He was quick to comply, and it was very helpful!
At 10:30pm, Alex and Gretchen arrived and my husband finished making sure the birth pool was ready. Alex checked baby’s heart and my overall well being. I asked Alex to help me know when I should get in the birth pool. I resumed asymmetrical movement with the step stool as well as changed into my laboring dress.
Contractions were hard and required concentration. I was resisting going to the bathroom because I didn’t like to have contractions on the toilet, but finally around 11:30pm, I decided to go. I proceeded to have two hard contractions on the toilet. When I tried to get up, I was hit with a very intense contraction that had me grabbing my husband for help to stay standing and that is when I believe I transitioned. We came out to see Alex and she let me know, “it’s time to get in the pool.”
I got in the birth pool and experienced a wonderful rest period that lasted for 2-3 minutes, during which Alex encouraged me to take advantage of it by resting my head and just breathing.
Intense contractions resumed and I found myself struggling to resist trying to “escape” them. I labored in a deep, single-leg lunge position while resting my head and shoulders on the side of the pool, and kept switching legs after each contraction to help facilitate baby’s movement down. I eventually began bearing down using diaphragmatic breathing and my water broke at 11:58pm. All of my focus was on the feeling of my baby slowly descending, and the sensation I’ve tried to describe is that I could feel it happening so distinctly it felt like I was actually down there. It was a powerful experience. I remember later feeling like I must have put my head underwater and even asked my husband if I did, but he assured me I hadn’t.
At 12:02am, my baby was born and Alex helped me bring the baby up to my chest.
After a few minutes both baby and I needed to be moved from the pool to make sure baby’s temperature didn’t drop too low. We still didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl. My husband assisted holding the baby, and I decided to check at the same time. In the shadows I was sure I saw a little boy part and confidently announced we’d had another boy. But I thought it looked a little funny, stubby even, and had a momentary concern that my baby may have actually grown a small tail (really!) in utero. But then as I looked closer, I realized it was one of my husband’s fingers as he held the baby under its bottom to make sure he didn’t drop it. Gretchen came over with a flashlight and I saw to my complete shock that we had a GIRL! So much shock that I just froze for about six seconds unable to believe what I was seeing. Later I found out that Alex had known immediately when she first helped me bring the baby to my chest, and was chuckling inwardly seeing us discover it for the first time. I will always appreciate her letting us take a minute and have that surreal moment.
Alex and Gretchen assisted in getting me and my baby to the bedroom where we were able to have our “golden hour.” It was an incredible experience from start to finish, and while definitely difficult and painful, I felt the most empowered and equipped that I have ever felt.
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