It can be tricky to support someone well through their postpartum period. The most important thing is to follow her lead. She may want short visits or none at all. She may want time for long chats and one on one time. She may want lots of company and visiting time on Monday and to be left alone on Tuesday. She also may want to wait a certain period of time before she allows other people to hold the baby. Please don't assume that you will be holding the baby if you visit postpartum and respect her wishes. Below I will discuss tips, tricks, and gifts that can be helpful when loving a women well during her postpartum period.
One of the best ways to support a woman during her postpartum season is by providing a prepared meal for her and her family. If you provide a meal, please remember to keep any dietary restrictions and preferences in mind. Meals are abundantly helpful during this period and it is important for her to eat nutritious meals that nourish her body well. Try to incorporate lots of protein, vegetables and fruits. If you are thinking of providing a meal for someone, do not hesitate to ask if there is anything in particular that sounds good or is a family favorite. For some the best part of having food provided is not having to pick what to eat. Some examples of good foods to bring around include:
Fruit tray/salad
Prepped veggies
Soups
Pastas with meat
Another way to support a woman after having her baby would be offering to do some work around the house. During this transitional period some of the housework can be left to sit on the back-burner and an offer to help keep up while she is resting could be exactly what she is looking for. On the other hand, the thought of someone coming into their home to pick up may be uncomfortable to some women. Be sure to approach the topic gently and respect her choice if that is not something she is open to. A few chores she might find helpful could be:
Getting a load of laundry through
Emptying/loading the dishwasher
Cleaning up after a meal
Cleaning her bathroom
Vacuuming/sweeping
Finally something many women need postpartum is a listener. Going through this transition with a new baby can present many hurdles and it is important to let her feel heard. Most times she is not looking for someone to solve a problem or explain why it is not a problem, she is looking for someone to hear the way she is feeling and validate her emotions. If you feel like she is looking for advise, ask. Ask her if she is looking for problem solving or if she just wants to be heard. Listening well is very important; let her know you hear how she is feeling and respect where she is coming from. Do your best to create a safe space for her to voice how she is feeling so that she knows she has someone who will listen free of judgement.
Providing food, offering help with housework, and being a good listener are the top 3 best ways to love a woman well as she navigates the change with a new addition to her family. With each method it is important to follow her lead and try to ask if there is anything specific she needs or would find helpful. What she wants/needs can change from day to day and it is vital to respect her wishes during this time and give her space if that is what she is asking for. Wanting time to bond with and get to know her new baby without extra company is completely normal. Keep in mind that each woman is different and has a varrying idea of what she wants postpartum to look like.
